Thursday, February 4, 2010

One of these days I should think of a topic before I blog

Maybe then my blog posts wouldn't be a sprawling mess of words and sugar-induced ideas.

I'll write about the future

[Yes, I'm kind of obessive about dating and putting times on my writings now. Well, the time thing can be reined back. I really like knowing the date, though.]

I feel like my emotions are like a sine graph that drank too much tea. Just a little while ago I felt myself slipping into depression and loneliness. And now I feel perfectly fine, if a little tired. I wonder how often my moods do fluctuate. Because I distinctly remember times when I just wanted to sit alone and wallow in music and misery. Then times when I desperately wanted someone to call and talk to me even though only about two people besides my family and my golf teammates knows my cell phone number. And then there's euphoria, giddiness bubbling up and filling the world with spontaneous laugher. My favorite is contentment, because it's when I'm proud or working [I like the feeling that I get when I accomplish something, or even when I'm working to accomplish something. I feel that, "hey, I'm not a bane one society, I have worth, here's me showing that." I don't mean that in a self-deprecating way. It's one thing to know you're part of something, quite another to feel like it.] or spending time with friends [These moments are the best - they're the ones I'm afraid to lose most, when we grow up and move apart and have our own budding, separate lives.].

Anyways, I should draw a graph plotting emotions - for two months. And see what happens.

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