Well, well, what do you know? I actually posted. I feel like retching onto my computer, though.
1) Someone sprayed Axe all over the house
2) To counteract the Axe, I opened this bottle of "Lavender Scent". It's odor more closely resembled "Baby Wipes".
3) A couple of fat sea cucumbers are currently marinating in a pot of water in the kitchen. Venture near, and I find myself bombarded with a very strange odor.
It's really not that pleasant.
Nose aside, Happy New Year!
Yup. 2010. Yay! Now on to less discussed topics.
Like New Years' Resolutions :D
I have none. Do you?
--Update-- 10:28
I think I'm getting a rash from the lavendar scent.
-11:06--
Opened a bottle of Aloe Vera. Feel much better now.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Beep. Beep.
You gasp and draw in a breath of air. My smiling face fills the entirety of your vision.
"Hello!"
"Hello..." you're puzzled, you have a faint throbbing headache over your left eyebrow, and my chipper voice has only made you more irritable.
"It's okay!" I babble, "I revived you, my dear, cuddly blog!" I smother you in a big hug.
You manage to whisper "help me," to the bemused nurse in the doorway. Then you pass out.
See, this is why second person generally doesn't work. Unless I'm mistaken, you're not passed out, and you certainly haven't been in a coma. But I hope you enjoyed the bubbly me, because I don't think it's going to happen again.
I said I wouldn't name names in this blog, but I guess the person who I'm refering to will usually know that I'm talking about him/her. I won't be long, because I really should be working on that story whose owner's fake name I can't remember. But yeah, that story.
So why did I decide to blog after a month and a half?
I had a conversation with a friend who I haven't talked to in a very long while that cheered me up very much, and so I felt like writing.
So yeah. I won't chronicle my winter holidays here on this blog.
1. because after obsessively recounting every detail on paper of certain events for a few years, I've noticed that it is very tedious and it leaves very little room for creative impulse. Plus I try to write everything that happened in chronological order along with any side thoughts I had on the event, which then connects to another thought/memory, and another, and another, and then my journal entry is a hopeless mass of pages. Eventually I'll get the hang of chronicling, I hope. I've always wanted to document life. Except maybe not quite as a dusty irritable old person who lives in stacks of his [yes, his is gramatically correct.] own writing. I'd keep a cat or two. And occasionally play Apples to Apples or Mao with a friend.
See, I was talking about reviving my blog, and I was supposed to list the reasons why I wouldn't document the occurences of winter break. And then now I'm suddenly talking about cats and Mao.
Anyways, I'll probably refer to the winter holidays later anyways. And this blog here isn't for documenting [that's what my journal is for...and all the loose leafy papers that I may or may not have organized and stacked under my desk.] It's for ranting. It's for impulse. It's for blogging. :D
I think I'll end here. Eventually I'll try to do a blog entry without backspacing ever. I'll strikeout everything I want to get rid of, so it'll be like...well, you know what I mean, right?
10:04, signing out.
Oh, and happy New Decade.
You gasp and draw in a breath of air. My smiling face fills the entirety of your vision.
"Hello!"
"Hello..." you're puzzled, you have a faint throbbing headache over your left eyebrow, and my chipper voice has only made you more irritable.
"It's okay!" I babble, "I revived you, my dear, cuddly blog!" I smother you in a big hug.
You manage to whisper "help me," to the bemused nurse in the doorway. Then you pass out.
See, this is why second person generally doesn't work. Unless I'm mistaken, you're not passed out, and you certainly haven't been in a coma. But I hope you enjoyed the bubbly me, because I don't think it's going to happen again.
I said I wouldn't name names in this blog, but I guess the person who I'm refering to will usually know that I'm talking about him/her. I won't be long, because I really should be working on that story whose owner's fake name I can't remember. But yeah, that story.
So why did I decide to blog after a month and a half?
I had a conversation with a friend who I haven't talked to in a very long while that cheered me up very much, and so I felt like writing.
So yeah. I won't chronicle my winter holidays here on this blog.
1. because after obsessively recounting every detail on paper of certain events for a few years, I've noticed that it is very tedious and it leaves very little room for creative impulse. Plus I try to write everything that happened in chronological order along with any side thoughts I had on the event, which then connects to another thought/memory, and another, and another, and then my journal entry is a hopeless mass of pages. Eventually I'll get the hang of chronicling, I hope. I've always wanted to document life. Except maybe not quite as a dusty irritable old person who lives in stacks of his [yes, his is gramatically correct.] own writing. I'd keep a cat or two. And occasionally play Apples to Apples or Mao with a friend.
See, I was talking about reviving my blog, and I was supposed to list the reasons why I wouldn't document the occurences of winter break. And then now I'm suddenly talking about cats and Mao.
Anyways, I'll probably refer to the winter holidays later anyways. And this blog here isn't for documenting [that's what my journal is for...and all the loose leafy papers that I may or may not have organized and stacked under my desk.] It's for ranting. It's for impulse. It's for blogging. :D
I think I'll end here. Eventually I'll try to do a blog entry without backspacing ever. I'll strikeout everything I want to get rid of, so it'll be like...well, you know what I mean, right?
10:04, signing out.
Oh, and happy New Decade.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
I never truly know people. There are parts of their existence, parts which I share in or they divulge that I know. There are worlds upon worlds that they touch on. The only thing that I know is my own. I don't know anything else. I don't know if I'd want to. It's all too different. Sharing happiness is one thing, but sharing pain takes courage I don't have.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
It's 10:39. My eyes are burning. I don't want to sleep. My heart itches. I do not know how else to describe this. This restless, irritable feeling I harbor here. I feel like pacing and screaming and banging away on the piano. But those would make too much noise for my brother, who is asleep, and my dad, who has not told me to go to bed. So I write. And I appologize for any typos or grammatical errors. My fingers are shaking too much to type properly.
It's too hard to be quiet. It does not pay to be silent. I don't care that that wise Greek once said that "I have often regretted speaking out, never that I remained silent." He must have lived in the antithesis of my world. To keep your opinions to yourself, is like condemming yourself to nonexistence. People don't notice you. You don't notice yourself. I can't keep saying nothing, doing nothing. It contributes nothing to the world and helps no one. Yet I cannot speak out. The mechanism that keeps me quiet is automatic. Anything that might motivate me to act, to help people, to do something active in the school or the community is shut out by fear. It is that simple. Fear. It's haunting me and I can't get away.
It's too hard to be quiet. It does not pay to be silent. I don't care that that wise Greek once said that "I have often regretted speaking out, never that I remained silent." He must have lived in the antithesis of my world. To keep your opinions to yourself, is like condemming yourself to nonexistence. People don't notice you. You don't notice yourself. I can't keep saying nothing, doing nothing. It contributes nothing to the world and helps no one. Yet I cannot speak out. The mechanism that keeps me quiet is automatic. Anything that might motivate me to act, to help people, to do something active in the school or the community is shut out by fear. It is that simple. Fear. It's haunting me and I can't get away.
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Sunday, September 27, 2009
I haven't written here in a while. I have been busy on my journal and writing random rants on loose sheets of paper.
It seems to me that the words of my ninth grade english teacher and the Greeks could never be truer. Moderation in everything is the key. When you tip the balance, when you decide, or are unwittingly forced into a situation when you simply have too much, life begins to shift, taking away bit by bit until you are forced into medium.
This isn't about me. So I won't say anymore.
It was partially because of that that I drew a picture last night. I had wanted to draw one thing, a collective symbol for the past four years. I came up with a tree. That old, nostalgic tree. I remember drawing it, many years ago. I also wondered if I should draw in leaves, or sketch a likeness of all who had a part in planting that tree. But then I realized: the tree is dead. I am probably the only one who still clings to it.
I was always the last one. The last one to still want to play hide and go seek at parties. The last one to play on the playground. The last one to give up on a story idea. The last one to let go. I think it's because I am so firmly rooted in the past. I am a packrat. So I remember.
I wish my friends shared this perspective, but I'm mostly glad they live him the present, looking forward. Still, the past is what we were. So this is for them.
Friday, September 11, 2009
September 11th, Part Two
I know I just made a post about ten minutes ago, but I felt the urge to blog again. And really, when I feel like I want to write, I just have to run with it, because I know I usually don't wanna.
A quote, an important one: We all start out with the same alphabet. We are all unique. Talent is not the most important thing --- discipline and dedication are. Craft can be learned but desire and longing are innate. Despite the demands of school and just being young, try to write SOMETHING every day --- a description, a captured emotion, a simile, a metaphor. Read, for crying out loud! A writer must read the way a ball player must go to the ballfield every day to practice. Everything is possible in this world of ours--- and so's publication.
- Robert Cormier, answering the question "What advice do you give to young people who want to be authors?"
And I don't even have a voice.
Despite the previous rant on essays, I didn't (completely) forget what day it is. I know. And it's sad. But at the same time, I don't know, because I was more than half my age at the time, and frankly, it's on the other side of the country. So while I do recognize the tragedy that occured on this date 8 years ago, I don't quite know what to feel.
A quote, an important one: We all start out with the same alphabet. We are all unique. Talent is not the most important thing --- discipline and dedication are. Craft can be learned but desire and longing are innate. Despite the demands of school and just being young, try to write SOMETHING every day --- a description, a captured emotion, a simile, a metaphor. Read, for crying out loud! A writer must read the way a ball player must go to the ballfield every day to practice. Everything is possible in this world of ours--- and so's publication.
- Robert Cormier, answering the question "What advice do you give to young people who want to be authors?"
And I don't even have a voice.
Despite the previous rant on essays, I didn't (completely) forget what day it is. I know. And it's sad. But at the same time, I don't know, because I was more than half my age at the time, and frankly, it's on the other side of the country. So while I do recognize the tragedy that occured on this date 8 years ago, I don't quite know what to feel.
One Single Life-Defining Event
What kind of English prompt is that?? I don't even remember most of my life. How do I determine which murky memory made me who I am?
He said to own it. Make it your own. Your event. Your voice. Oi. That's the most difficult thing to do. Especially for the satrical AP Lit & Composition teacher who we've had for all of two weeks...
A life-defining event. A life-defining event.
Really.
Discovery of music? Ok, lemme try.
I grew up around (amongst, in...) Classical music. Having begun piano lessons at the age of 4, by the time I was in 6th grade, I was well versed in the works of Bach, Betoven (...that's not right), and Chopin (kind of a lie, but of well). My only experiences of pop culture were a brief obsession with Britney Spears' "Hit Me Baby One More Time" and scornful listenings (need to edit) to the radio during field trips in the later grades of elementary school. It was in the 7th grade when...
Gr. Somehow I don't think it's right. He said to own it. I don't know what I own. I don't really know what makes me, me.
Own it, goshdarnit. In 725-775 words...
He said to own it. Make it your own. Your event. Your voice. Oi. That's the most difficult thing to do. Especially for the satrical AP Lit & Composition teacher who we've had for all of two weeks...
A life-defining event. A life-defining event.
Really.
Discovery of music? Ok, lemme try.
I grew up around (amongst, in...) Classical music. Having begun piano lessons at the age of 4, by the time I was in 6th grade, I was well versed in the works of Bach, Betoven (...that's not right), and Chopin (kind of a lie, but of well). My only experiences of pop culture were a brief obsession with Britney Spears' "Hit Me Baby One More Time" and scornful listenings (need to edit) to the radio during field trips in the later grades of elementary school. It was in the 7th grade when...
Gr. Somehow I don't think it's right. He said to own it. I don't know what I own. I don't really know what makes me, me.
Own it, goshdarnit. In 725-775 words...
Sunday, September 6, 2009
There are so many questions in the world. They fill your mind. It's this headache that I'm attributing to all the problems and stress and questions. I don't think that made sense...
But it's like it's always building on you - questions, and problems, and unhappiness and uncertainty. And it's like it's impossible to get rid of the burden.
Maybe part of it is thinking about it. Ignorance is bliss. Other cliches like that. I mean, maybe if you believe you don't have a problem...it'll just go away. Well, not literally, but the stress of it at least. Then you'll be clear headed for decision time.
When I think about teenage problems, the world narrows into the small scope of our school, my friends, and this tiny perspective. Then I think of the world ending in 2012, and the possibility of a divine predictor. It's mind boggling that there are so many different sized views, and somehow they all link together. Or maybe they're just random.
Honestly, I just want A's in all my classes this year. Is it too much to ask for?
But it's like it's always building on you - questions, and problems, and unhappiness and uncertainty. And it's like it's impossible to get rid of the burden.
Maybe part of it is thinking about it. Ignorance is bliss. Other cliches like that. I mean, maybe if you believe you don't have a problem...it'll just go away. Well, not literally, but the stress of it at least. Then you'll be clear headed for decision time.
When I think about teenage problems, the world narrows into the small scope of our school, my friends, and this tiny perspective. Then I think of the world ending in 2012, and the possibility of a divine predictor. It's mind boggling that there are so many different sized views, and somehow they all link together. Or maybe they're just random.
Honestly, I just want A's in all my classes this year. Is it too much to ask for?
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Every time I come to make a post I forget.
Shopping annoys me. I know what everyone else wears. I just don't want to. I just keep on thinking of things wrong with it. It's not that I want to assert my individuality or anything. I'm just the kind of person who likes to wear baggy sweats and T-shirts and read on the couch. Or spend the afternoon just thinking. There's nothing wrong with that?
Shopping annoys me. I know what everyone else wears. I just don't want to. I just keep on thinking of things wrong with it. It's not that I want to assert my individuality or anything. I'm just the kind of person who likes to wear baggy sweats and T-shirts and read on the couch. Or spend the afternoon just thinking. There's nothing wrong with that?
Monday, August 31, 2009
Last day of Summer
I feel like I should be grateful - many other schools start a week before mine.
We've all heard of the fable of the Tortoise and the Hare, and known the moral: Slow and steady wins the race. I don't think that's true at all. It's a matter of pride. It wasn't that the hare and incapable of winning the race. He was simply too confident in his ability to do so that he decided to take a nap instead of pushing though and winning by a landslide.
The tortoise had no chance but to keep plodding along, at least to say that he tried. I doubt that he forsaw his opponent taking a nap in the middle of a race - or, if he did, it was only a guess based on character. When he saw the hare having a nice snooze, he took advantage of the opportunity that was handed to him (like we all do) and won the race.
We've all heard of the fable of the Tortoise and the Hare, and known the moral: Slow and steady wins the race. I don't think that's true at all. It's a matter of pride. It wasn't that the hare and incapable of winning the race. He was simply too confident in his ability to do so that he decided to take a nap instead of pushing though and winning by a landslide.
The tortoise had no chance but to keep plodding along, at least to say that he tried. I doubt that he forsaw his opponent taking a nap in the middle of a race - or, if he did, it was only a guess based on character. When he saw the hare having a nice snooze, he took advantage of the opportunity that was handed to him (like we all do) and won the race.
Friday, August 28, 2009
Alaska Waves
I've been lazy again. Of course, I did spend the past week in Alaska. I did not see Russia. I did not find the ice cube key chain. I'm devastated. Just kidding. I find that it's really hard to write here. Every time I think of an idea, it just doesn't seem to get done. It's not important enough, I guess. But what is?
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Titles are hard to do.
I think I forgot to mention this, and it's long due. All the credits for the beautiful background and picture go to Gadi.
Friday, August 7, 2009
Friday, August 7th, 2009.
____ told me to make a blog. Sure, it was probably around 11 pm, which is extremely late for her. But it was a good idea. I'll just continue this one. And frankly, I have nothing better to do.
Notice I didn't mention her name. On her advice. And I figured if she suggested that I change names, she'd probably be a little irritated if I didn't change her name. So I'll call ____ ... Susan. :)
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U11RpcSEM_Y&feature=rec-lis-watch-cur_emp-exp_r2
"ok, i made this a while ago becaue this is how i felt. now ive noticed some of the comments ppl left me and some asked if i was emo, no im not, i have cut myself before but i dont do it often, only if i have a major breakdown and no one is around, which is hardly ever...anywaysive learned not to worry to much about these kind of relationship things, yes getting your heart broken sucks but you still shouldnt give up, there is love out there, just take your time, i bet 99% of the people that commented this are under 18 like me, your sstill young enjoy your life, also being "emo" or not talking to people doesnt help, be out going and confident works alot better, and you feel better about yourself and your more likely to get that person your always thinking about, anyways if anyone ever needs any help or advice or just wants to talk, my names thomas, im 14, i live in the florida keys, myspace is www.myspace.com/we_can_be_the_change and my aim is lighttheworld1*update*Now I've totall shifted my lief around. I have an amazing girlfriend and were in love. I'm going to church and active with m outhgroup. Anyone going through rough times can over come. If anyone ever needs help I'll help you. I'm not gonna comfort you and tell you what you wanna hear. I'll give you the harsh truth and then how to make it better so you can actually change your life. And when your in doubt turn to God. He gives us everything so long as we accept his son christ into our hearts. He gave me a great life and a great girlfriend after I started going to church and became christian. The same can happen to you too. So if you want help with your problems or want me to help you get closer to God, let me know, my aim and myspace are above.*update* my girlfriend left me. for some stoner. I'm still strong tho, i learned something from my youthpastor, God already knows who our one person is, and when were ready He'll introduce usAlso please watch my newest video that says hands on hands in the front and tell me what you think about the project*update 12/11/08*so starting in october i've been feeling seperated from God. I'd been feeling depressed by school problems and family issues and friends and stuff like that. I felt so far away from God so I started looking for something to fill the hole. I did something I swore i would never do. I started smoking pot. Sure at the times I was high I couldn't even remember I was depressed but when I sobered up again I remembered all my problems and that everything was still the same. I also started drinking. But then one of my friends said I had changed. I got really hurt by this and unleashed all my built up anger at her. Then another one asked "what happened to that good little christian boy I used to know?" I flipped out on her too. but then just in the past couple weeks I found a verse in my bible during youth group. It said wounds from a friend can be trusted. I asked my youth pastor what that meant and he explained it to me. I understood then that sometimes our friends say stuff and it hurts us but they only say it because they care about us. So in these past 2 weeks I have been 100% sober and I plan on staying that way for the rest of my life. God has forgiven me and blessed me so much in these past couple of weeks since I quit. My birthday was the 9th and it was my best ever. The girl I likes mom baked me a cake and my friend had a surprise party for me and it was just a great day. I just thought I should share this with you guys. Stay in touch! (p.s. I'm 15 now)"
Notice I didn't mention her name. On her advice. And I figured if she suggested that I change names, she'd probably be a little irritated if I didn't change her name. So I'll call ____ ... Susan. :)
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The below is just a (really long) quote, and some thoughts. You don't have to read it, but I do think it's pretty interesting. *shrug* Maybe that's just me.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U11RpcSEM_Y&feature=rec-lis-watch-cur_emp-exp_r2
"ok, i made this a while ago becaue this is how i felt. now ive noticed some of the comments ppl left me and some asked if i was emo, no im not, i have cut myself before but i dont do it often, only if i have a major breakdown and no one is around, which is hardly ever...anywaysive learned not to worry to much about these kind of relationship things, yes getting your heart broken sucks but you still shouldnt give up, there is love out there, just take your time, i bet 99% of the people that commented this are under 18 like me, your sstill young enjoy your life, also being "emo" or not talking to people doesnt help, be out going and confident works alot better, and you feel better about yourself and your more likely to get that person your always thinking about, anyways if anyone ever needs any help or advice or just wants to talk, my names thomas, im 14, i live in the florida keys, myspace is www.myspace.com/we_can_be_the_change and my aim is lighttheworld1*update*Now I've totall shifted my lief around. I have an amazing girlfriend and were in love. I'm going to church and active with m outhgroup. Anyone going through rough times can over come. If anyone ever needs help I'll help you. I'm not gonna comfort you and tell you what you wanna hear. I'll give you the harsh truth and then how to make it better so you can actually change your life. And when your in doubt turn to God. He gives us everything so long as we accept his son christ into our hearts. He gave me a great life and a great girlfriend after I started going to church and became christian. The same can happen to you too. So if you want help with your problems or want me to help you get closer to God, let me know, my aim and myspace are above.*update* my girlfriend left me. for some stoner. I'm still strong tho, i learned something from my youthpastor, God already knows who our one person is, and when were ready He'll introduce usAlso please watch my newest video that says hands on hands in the front and tell me what you think about the project*update 12/11/08*so starting in october i've been feeling seperated from God. I'd been feeling depressed by school problems and family issues and friends and stuff like that. I felt so far away from God so I started looking for something to fill the hole. I did something I swore i would never do. I started smoking pot. Sure at the times I was high I couldn't even remember I was depressed but when I sobered up again I remembered all my problems and that everything was still the same. I also started drinking. But then one of my friends said I had changed. I got really hurt by this and unleashed all my built up anger at her. Then another one asked "what happened to that good little christian boy I used to know?" I flipped out on her too. but then just in the past couple weeks I found a verse in my bible during youth group. It said wounds from a friend can be trusted. I asked my youth pastor what that meant and he explained it to me. I understood then that sometimes our friends say stuff and it hurts us but they only say it because they care about us. So in these past 2 weeks I have been 100% sober and I plan on staying that way for the rest of my life. God has forgiven me and blessed me so much in these past couple of weeks since I quit. My birthday was the 9th and it was my best ever. The girl I likes mom baked me a cake and my friend had a surprise party for me and it was just a great day. I just thought I should share this with you guys. Stay in touch! (p.s. I'm 15 now)"
I noticed this because it was different from what I usually see. It reminded me of "On the Outside Looking In" By Jordan Pruitt. Yet while that was Disney channel and thus somewhat optomistic, the above shows someone who fell and was picked up and fell harder. I don't know if God exists and I'm not going to go into a fruitless argument about it with you, but the point is he believes God exists, and it does seem to have helped with his recovery.
Wait. That wasn't my point. Oh, yes. My point: some people complain with the iconic words "story of my life" in the youtube videos about breakups and relationships and such, but really? It's just like my math teacher said, "take things in perspective." Really. It's hard though. Like in Peace, Love, and Rubber Ducks by Lauren Myracle. "You just drown in your own muck inside." Sometimes I get that feeling in golf. Or see people going through it. You get caught up in your internal struggles and forget the outside world. You forget that everyone else suffers too. You forget the beauty of the sunrise and the subtlety of the shadows and the meaning of real pain. You drown in self pity. [And yes I made a bunch of random references and quotes that I hope you followed. I'm in a hurry. It's 10:41 of August 8th and I have to go to bed!]
So that's it for my first new post in a long time. Odd intro of a culmination of two days...but I hope you're happy, Susan.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Ugh. Kill me. Can't I do my stupid lab without any mishaps for one day? It's not like I'm doing something dangerous here. My head hurts. I'm cold. I can still smell those sparklers and the acetone and the bunsen burner and the oil and the melted rubber. It's destroying my nostrils. WHY!?
Carrie Yang wrote a rant on facebook. It's very interesting, and I'm completely guilty of it.
ok srsly? rant rant rant.
Share
Yesterday at 11:18pm
everyone i talked to is like im going to take 5/6 APsits like this year how everyone was like im going to take ap chemeveryones still going to do it. but u know ur killing urselves.that being said im prolly going to do the same :[and u guys srsly wonder y other people do drugs and shit evn though they know that they r just wasting their lives away? well now u know.and dont say: well at least we r ensuring our future/im azn i have to/everyone else is how else can i keep up?the screwed up people r like: at least we are having fun atm/im a teenager/everyone else is how else can i keep up?parallels oooOOOooo.:[ makes me wanna pack up and run off. gain life experiences or something. and if ppl r like, oh u totally threw away ur life i can be like fuck you at least i did the forrest gump where i still pwn u at life in general. nice salary, nice family, nice car, american dream whoop-de-freaking-do still doesnt beat my life experiences.this just makes me a little pissed of in general. stupid overachieving people who make me feel pressured to sign up for ridiculous classes. u guys rly suck u know that?sniff. i rly cant run away tho. and hitch-hiking=sketchyness. -.-''' im not supposed to be so stressed at such a young age.isnt this supposed to be a "rebellious" stage? i feel like we r such dream children. like wtf. i really just feel like doing something wacky and coming home and expressing my individuality/rebelliousness/teenage angst which i cant even do. last time i wanted to do something a bit risky (not evn illegal) ppl were like ehh we shouldnt be doing this. and its like ARGHHH we r still minors. we can just be like oh we srry we r stupid/ didnt see the no tresspassing sign/we're teenagers. like once everyone gets to the age where we have no more AP classes and stuff we r going to be too old to have fun anymore.so this is basically my rant about how college has dominated our lives and how all these azn teens today are not evn teens but more like victims of the college parasite where all the fun and life is getting sucked out of us slowly.makes me wanna be a rebel. i can legally drive a motorcycle. i can save up money for it. i can get my permit and take the lessons (of course with a super hot instructor) and look rly cool with it. and after all my research on it and how much a motorcycle costs and yadda yadda i realized that my backpack is too heavy (where would i put all my AP books duh) and that i cant carry my lax stuff on a bike. maybe someday i will just join a peaceful biker gang. like bikers for world peace or something. i dont think i will ever need chem or calc in a biker gang. but wat sounds like rlyrlyrly fun is an auto mechanic. u just fix up cars and more cars. its like one big scioly building event. i would love to be a little greasy monkey and just fix up cars. screw pay. it would be so much fun. maybe ill get my associates degree in it and then do it as a backup job/midlife crisis career. cuz srsly i have no idea of what i want to do in life. wats the point of taking all these APs if im just going to join a biker gang or fix cars all day? NADA. i dont evn need serious college. and srsly ive been doing so much science and i dont evn like it that much. its okay but i srsly dont care about molecular reactions and their forces and stuff. im more of a legos person. and a power tools person. sometimes when im pipetting my .5 uL crap (which is literally a third of a drop of water about) i just feel like hammering all my tubes into the counter.screw this im speeding off in my motorcycle tonight.
Updated 18 hours ago - Comment - LikeUnlike - Report Note
You like this.
Shayna Yong at 11:46pm February 10
you need cooler friends ^_^just kiddingREBEL, CARRIE!come to sdsu with meand take two free periods next year
Shayna Yong at 11:47pm February 10
it's ok if you don't take 5-6 apsbut you should improve your grammar just a tad ;)
Carrie Yang at 11:55pm February 10
sdsu is too close to home. cant rebel if my mom is always going to pop in and say heyyyyand i wish.my grammar -.-'''
Robert Johnson at 12:25am February 11
kawasaki ninja is the way to go.I don't like harleys.they're big, loud, slow, and look painful.
Carrie Yang at 12:26am February 11
fine. maybe more like a moped gang. the electric ones since we r so globally conscious
Deanna Poof at 6:51am February 11
Maybe colleges drugged us when we were kids so that we obsessively take APs until we either are good enough to get into college or we die..
Andrew Fan at 12:57pm February 11
hahaha...nice...we love u carrie :)come to youth group sometime...our mindless activities will take ur mind off of school...school is stoopid...dont worry about it :)
Mindy Duong at 3:51pm February 11
I've been pretty pissed about the same thing, especially to people who are like coming up to me and boasting about it. But I've realized, who cares? Their decisions can't affect you, not without your consent. Let them do what they want. Let them have no lives and complain about their AP classes. (Why are people like that? They sign up for a hard class, brag abou it and shove it in your face like they're so awesome, and then when they're taking the class they complain about what a hard class it is.) You get to smirk and be happy cause you're doing what YOU want, your way. Be happy with what you're doing.Um. yeah.
Mindy Duong at 3:52pm February 11
And OMG I was totally thinking about a motorcycle too :] Ever since Drake got a license for his haha.
I think it's too late to stop. If I stop now then people will say, "I told you so, you can't handle all those hard classes. You're not good enough."
Too freaking bad. I can handle them.
But if I can't do this? Pretty soon this is all gonna fall on me. Too much stress. And I might be screwed up. Too bad. I don't care anymore.
Carrie Yang wrote a rant on facebook. It's very interesting, and I'm completely guilty of it.
ok srsly? rant rant rant.
Share
Yesterday at 11:18pm
everyone i talked to is like im going to take 5/6 APsits like this year how everyone was like im going to take ap chemeveryones still going to do it. but u know ur killing urselves.that being said im prolly going to do the same :[and u guys srsly wonder y other people do drugs and shit evn though they know that they r just wasting their lives away? well now u know.and dont say: well at least we r ensuring our future/im azn i have to/everyone else is how else can i keep up?the screwed up people r like: at least we are having fun atm/im a teenager/everyone else is how else can i keep up?parallels oooOOOooo.:[ makes me wanna pack up and run off. gain life experiences or something. and if ppl r like, oh u totally threw away ur life i can be like fuck you at least i did the forrest gump where i still pwn u at life in general. nice salary, nice family, nice car, american dream whoop-de-freaking-do still doesnt beat my life experiences.this just makes me a little pissed of in general. stupid overachieving people who make me feel pressured to sign up for ridiculous classes. u guys rly suck u know that?sniff. i rly cant run away tho. and hitch-hiking=sketchyness. -.-''' im not supposed to be so stressed at such a young age.isnt this supposed to be a "rebellious" stage? i feel like we r such dream children. like wtf. i really just feel like doing something wacky and coming home and expressing my individuality/rebelliousness/teenage angst which i cant even do. last time i wanted to do something a bit risky (not evn illegal) ppl were like ehh we shouldnt be doing this. and its like ARGHHH we r still minors. we can just be like oh we srry we r stupid/ didnt see the no tresspassing sign/we're teenagers. like once everyone gets to the age where we have no more AP classes and stuff we r going to be too old to have fun anymore.so this is basically my rant about how college has dominated our lives and how all these azn teens today are not evn teens but more like victims of the college parasite where all the fun and life is getting sucked out of us slowly.makes me wanna be a rebel. i can legally drive a motorcycle. i can save up money for it. i can get my permit and take the lessons (of course with a super hot instructor) and look rly cool with it. and after all my research on it and how much a motorcycle costs and yadda yadda i realized that my backpack is too heavy (where would i put all my AP books duh) and that i cant carry my lax stuff on a bike. maybe someday i will just join a peaceful biker gang. like bikers for world peace or something. i dont think i will ever need chem or calc in a biker gang. but wat sounds like rlyrlyrly fun is an auto mechanic. u just fix up cars and more cars. its like one big scioly building event. i would love to be a little greasy monkey and just fix up cars. screw pay. it would be so much fun. maybe ill get my associates degree in it and then do it as a backup job/midlife crisis career. cuz srsly i have no idea of what i want to do in life. wats the point of taking all these APs if im just going to join a biker gang or fix cars all day? NADA. i dont evn need serious college. and srsly ive been doing so much science and i dont evn like it that much. its okay but i srsly dont care about molecular reactions and their forces and stuff. im more of a legos person. and a power tools person. sometimes when im pipetting my .5 uL crap (which is literally a third of a drop of water about) i just feel like hammering all my tubes into the counter.screw this im speeding off in my motorcycle tonight.
Updated 18 hours ago - Comment - LikeUnlike - Report Note
You like this.
Shayna Yong at 11:46pm February 10
you need cooler friends ^_^just kiddingREBEL, CARRIE!come to sdsu with meand take two free periods next year
Shayna Yong at 11:47pm February 10
it's ok if you don't take 5-6 apsbut you should improve your grammar just a tad ;)
Carrie Yang at 11:55pm February 10
sdsu is too close to home. cant rebel if my mom is always going to pop in and say heyyyyand i wish.my grammar -.-'''
Robert Johnson at 12:25am February 11
kawasaki ninja is the way to go.I don't like harleys.they're big, loud, slow, and look painful.
Carrie Yang at 12:26am February 11
fine. maybe more like a moped gang. the electric ones since we r so globally conscious
Deanna Poof at 6:51am February 11
Maybe colleges drugged us when we were kids so that we obsessively take APs until we either are good enough to get into college or we die..
Andrew Fan at 12:57pm February 11
hahaha...nice...we love u carrie :)come to youth group sometime...our mindless activities will take ur mind off of school...school is stoopid...dont worry about it :)
Mindy Duong at 3:51pm February 11
I've been pretty pissed about the same thing, especially to people who are like coming up to me and boasting about it. But I've realized, who cares? Their decisions can't affect you, not without your consent. Let them do what they want. Let them have no lives and complain about their AP classes. (Why are people like that? They sign up for a hard class, brag abou it and shove it in your face like they're so awesome, and then when they're taking the class they complain about what a hard class it is.) You get to smirk and be happy cause you're doing what YOU want, your way. Be happy with what you're doing.Um. yeah.
Mindy Duong at 3:52pm February 11
And OMG I was totally thinking about a motorcycle too :] Ever since Drake got a license for his haha.
I think it's too late to stop. If I stop now then people will say, "I told you so, you can't handle all those hard classes. You're not good enough."
Too freaking bad. I can handle them.
But if I can't do this? Pretty soon this is all gonna fall on me. Too much stress. And I might be screwed up. Too bad. I don't care anymore.
Friday, February 6, 2009
Friday, January 30, 2009
:)
MAGICAL REALISM! I love it! Even though we just started learning about it. It was fascinating in Spanish last year and now I'm really happy because now we can learn it in ENGLISH and I can actually understand! So yay.
On the flip side, ap chem is a horror house. I got a C in it. :( and it counts as 2 C's on the transcript. So now I really need an A in it. Actually, I need an A in everything for the two other years in high school. And the Research project is killing me. I have no idea what to do and its due ina month that might seem like a long time but I need thirty lab hours and I have and hour and a half. And I don't know what to do. %*(&.
And I'm not neurotic. Not at all. I'm just alternately happy and stressed. But I'm not bipolar either. I dunno what I am. Gosh. This isn't helping me. What I need, is to create a new mast head. Then research. Yes, that is what I shall do. :)
On the flip side, ap chem is a horror house. I got a C in it. :( and it counts as 2 C's on the transcript. So now I really need an A in it. Actually, I need an A in everything for the two other years in high school. And the Research project is killing me. I have no idea what to do and its due ina month that might seem like a long time but I need thirty lab hours and I have and hour and a half. And I don't know what to do. %*(&.
And I'm not neurotic. Not at all. I'm just alternately happy and stressed. But I'm not bipolar either. I dunno what I am. Gosh. This isn't helping me. What I need, is to create a new mast head. Then research. Yes, that is what I shall do. :)
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
I think I'd break if I had to experience true despair. This is quite bad enough, thank you. I know that this is probably pathetic. That I can't even survive AP Chem when others have bounced back from things that are much worse. 4:08 PM
Erg
Tired
Words swimming.
Head Swimming.
My facebook status reads "Deanna is piffle tot kidfertinglegoshimcrud."
I have no idea what that means
And no, this is not the poem that I previously promised 4:30 PM
Head hurts. Why are there so many stupid Chem problems?? I had a nightmare once that I took a printout from wikipedia to my English class, and I had to hide it, or the teacher would be really mad. 4:44 PM
Neighbors came. Can't concentrate. Shoot. 5:28 PM
TAlked to Michael for the first time in a long time. It was nice. 5:38 PM
Mom and neighbor. Still talking. Godd. I can't pay attention gosh ekjhsekjraseljrkljsehr. 5:51 PM
Erg
Tired
Words swimming.
Head Swimming.
My facebook status reads "Deanna is piffle tot kidfertinglegoshimcrud."
I have no idea what that means
And no, this is not the poem that I previously promised 4:30 PM
Head hurts. Why are there so many stupid Chem problems?? I had a nightmare once that I took a printout from wikipedia to my English class, and I had to hide it, or the teacher would be really mad. 4:44 PM
Neighbors came. Can't concentrate. Shoot. 5:28 PM
TAlked to Michael for the first time in a long time. It was nice. 5:38 PM
Mom and neighbor. Still talking. Godd. I can't pay attention gosh ekjhsekjraseljrkljsehr. 5:51 PM
Monday, January 26, 2009
Chinese New Year
It's Chinese New Year, and according to the Yahoo! horoscopes, the Roosters are due for a good year:
Get ready for an outstanding year. Aside from the Snake, the Rooster has the best prospects in the year of the Ox. This is the kind of year you have been waiting for, as everything seems to go your way. You have been diligently working towards some long term goals that finally come together this year. Your relations are felt at new levels, as you find a sense of satisfaction that you may not have experienced in a long time. Things you may have thought not possible will become a reality for you in this positive year.
Rooster Rating
72% (10 favorable and 2 neutral months)
Rooster Career
Determination and diligence are two key aspects that put the Rooster over the top this year. 2009 is a year that you should promote yourself: Your ideas and your talents will be highly regarded and you will be recognized for past and present efforts. Give it your best this year and seize any opportunity that presents itself. This year will certainly be a landmark for years to come, as you will remember it as one of your most productive times in your life.
Rooster Relationships
Domestic matters will fare well for the Rooster this year. You will find comfort in the support and encouragement of family members and friends alike. Seek advice from your seniors, as they may provide information that opens doors to areas that are not known. The social life for the Rooster is a busy schedule. You will enjoy the company of others in many social functions and parties. Romance is highly favorable for the unattached Rooster, so flaunt your feathers.
Rooster Health
Health issues are minor for the Rooster this year. Though exercise and diet are not an issue, you may have a problem maintaining the discipline of a steady routine. Take the time to get the exercise you need and everything should work out fine for you. Being somewhat of a risk taker, you may want to try something new that holds your interests. Consider surfing or parasailing to indulge your fancy.
Rooster Wealth
This a great year financially for the Rooster. If you have any available funds, you may want to reinvest it in your work. This could prove to be highly favorable and you will reap the benefits in your return. One key issue is your spending habits. Make sure you don't spend the money before it is in the bank or this could pose a problem with your budget. Receive professional advice for any large investments in areas that you are unfamiliar.
So that's good. Maybe I can raise my GPA or something. So right now I'm doing a lab. It wasn't a hands on lab, because apparently nitrobenzene is really dangerous or whatever. I don't see why nitrobenzene is too dangerous but carcinogens (Potassium Dichromate) aren't??? And how come we can mix two compounds (Potassium Dichromate and Toluene) that have the potential to explode? What's so darn great about nitrobenzene. Well, we had too look up the safety for working with nitrobenzene (even though we wouldn't work with it) and I had to laugh. At the disconnected tone that the material safety sheet (http://www.palomar.edu/ehs/Chemistry%20MSDS/NITROBENZENE.pdf) had.
SECTION 4. - - - - - - - - - - FIRST-AID MEASURES- - - - - - - - - - -
IN CASE OF CONTACT, IMMEDIATELY FLUSH EYES OR SKIN WITH COPIOUS
AMOUNTS OF WATER FOR AT LEAST 15 MINUTES WHILE REMOVING CONTAMINATED
CLOTHING AND SHOES.
IF INHALED, REMOVE TO FRESH AIR. IF NOT BREATHING GIVE ARTIFICIAL
RESPIRATION. IF BREATHING IS DIFFICULT, GIVE OXYGEN.
IF SWALLOWED, WASH OUT MOUTH WITH WATER PROVIDED PERSON IS CONSCIOUS.
CALL A PHYSICIAN IMMEDIATELY.
WASH CONTAMINATED CLOTHING BEFORE REUSE.
"If swallowed, wash out mouth with water provided person is conscious" I love the nonchalant way that is stated. I don't know why its so funny to me, but it just is.
Get ready for an outstanding year. Aside from the Snake, the Rooster has the best prospects in the year of the Ox. This is the kind of year you have been waiting for, as everything seems to go your way. You have been diligently working towards some long term goals that finally come together this year. Your relations are felt at new levels, as you find a sense of satisfaction that you may not have experienced in a long time. Things you may have thought not possible will become a reality for you in this positive year.
Rooster Rating
72% (10 favorable and 2 neutral months)
Rooster Career
Determination and diligence are two key aspects that put the Rooster over the top this year. 2009 is a year that you should promote yourself: Your ideas and your talents will be highly regarded and you will be recognized for past and present efforts. Give it your best this year and seize any opportunity that presents itself. This year will certainly be a landmark for years to come, as you will remember it as one of your most productive times in your life.
Rooster Relationships
Domestic matters will fare well for the Rooster this year. You will find comfort in the support and encouragement of family members and friends alike. Seek advice from your seniors, as they may provide information that opens doors to areas that are not known. The social life for the Rooster is a busy schedule. You will enjoy the company of others in many social functions and parties. Romance is highly favorable for the unattached Rooster, so flaunt your feathers.
Rooster Health
Health issues are minor for the Rooster this year. Though exercise and diet are not an issue, you may have a problem maintaining the discipline of a steady routine. Take the time to get the exercise you need and everything should work out fine for you. Being somewhat of a risk taker, you may want to try something new that holds your interests. Consider surfing or parasailing to indulge your fancy.
Rooster Wealth
This a great year financially for the Rooster. If you have any available funds, you may want to reinvest it in your work. This could prove to be highly favorable and you will reap the benefits in your return. One key issue is your spending habits. Make sure you don't spend the money before it is in the bank or this could pose a problem with your budget. Receive professional advice for any large investments in areas that you are unfamiliar.
So that's good. Maybe I can raise my GPA or something. So right now I'm doing a lab. It wasn't a hands on lab, because apparently nitrobenzene is really dangerous or whatever. I don't see why nitrobenzene is too dangerous but carcinogens (Potassium Dichromate) aren't??? And how come we can mix two compounds (Potassium Dichromate and Toluene) that have the potential to explode? What's so darn great about nitrobenzene. Well, we had too look up the safety for working with nitrobenzene (even though we wouldn't work with it) and I had to laugh. At the disconnected tone that the material safety sheet (http://www.palomar.edu/ehs/Chemistry%20MSDS/NITROBENZENE.pdf) had.
SECTION 4. - - - - - - - - - - FIRST-AID MEASURES- - - - - - - - - - -
IN CASE OF CONTACT, IMMEDIATELY FLUSH EYES OR SKIN WITH COPIOUS
AMOUNTS OF WATER FOR AT LEAST 15 MINUTES WHILE REMOVING CONTAMINATED
CLOTHING AND SHOES.
IF INHALED, REMOVE TO FRESH AIR. IF NOT BREATHING GIVE ARTIFICIAL
RESPIRATION. IF BREATHING IS DIFFICULT, GIVE OXYGEN.
IF SWALLOWED, WASH OUT MOUTH WITH WATER PROVIDED PERSON IS CONSCIOUS.
CALL A PHYSICIAN IMMEDIATELY.
WASH CONTAMINATED CLOTHING BEFORE REUSE.
"If swallowed, wash out mouth with water provided person is conscious" I love the nonchalant way that is stated. I don't know why its so funny to me, but it just is.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Memory
I feel pathetic. I realize how little that I remember of middle school and how much I wish I could remember more.
Same goes for Chemistry.
Same goes for Chemistry.
Saturday, January 17, 2009
I can hear my watch ticking. It's both annoying and soothing. I also smell my T.V. breakfast. It's done cooking in the microwave. I'll be back....
[One hour and 44 minutes later...]
I feel sick. I kind of wish I were sick, too. Because then I wouldn't have to do all this work. I wouldn't have to go play golf tommorrow, and monday. I wouldn't have to take finals. Wouldn't it be better to just sleep and dream, and never wake up? So tired.
I just read Fever 1793. It's an old book, but its a good one. It ends full of hope. So does this article, actually. http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/inauguration_rdp
I feel like drawing and writing for some reason..but I always have homework.....
[One hour and 44 minutes later...]
I feel sick. I kind of wish I were sick, too. Because then I wouldn't have to do all this work. I wouldn't have to go play golf tommorrow, and monday. I wouldn't have to take finals. Wouldn't it be better to just sleep and dream, and never wake up? So tired.
I just read Fever 1793. It's an old book, but its a good one. It ends full of hope. So does this article, actually. http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/inauguration_rdp
I feel like drawing and writing for some reason..but I always have homework.....
Friday, January 9, 2009
An Omniscient Smile in the Sky
I'm supposed to be doing homework right now. Then again, I'm always going to be burdened with homework and any time that I take to read or eat or shower or walk or watch TV consequently counts as wasted homework time. But it's friday, I'm exhausted, so I really don't care if I'm wasting time right now.
I suppose there are worse ways to waste my time. But after that rant about homework, I'm really not sure what to type. Blogging? I don't enjoy the prospect of friends or strangers reading about my feelings. But Gadi (who is probably going to be the only one reading this) wanted me to "make a blog so we can be blog friends." So here's the blog. I'll probably think of a million things to say after I hit "publish post".
I suppose there are worse ways to waste my time. But after that rant about homework, I'm really not sure what to type. Blogging? I don't enjoy the prospect of friends or strangers reading about my feelings. But Gadi (who is probably going to be the only one reading this) wanted me to "make a blog so we can be blog friends." So here's the blog. I'll probably think of a million things to say after I hit "publish post".
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