I decided that The Fray is my choice of music when I feel alone. I guess I just like his voice. Especially in You Found Me.

This blogging thing is kinda fun, too. Since nobody reads it, it's like talking to my stuffed animals, or speaking to an empty room. And I'm not pausing every few seconds to make sure that there is no one listening. Or if my family isn't home, that there isn't some creeper that's lurking behind the door.

I don't think my writing is getting any better, though. And I don't think I'm developing much of a voice. I wish I could remember more big words. I have to look up words at least 5 times before they become vaguely familiar enough to constantly stick to my brain. Like esoteric. First I saw someone use that word in a facebook comment, and I looked it up. Then I forgot about it. Later, I remembered that there was this word that meant exclusive or something secret to a group or something like that, and I scoured the web with possible synonyms for this word until I found it. And forgot it again. Then I looked it up a few more times when I experienced that panicky feeling that meant I'd forgotten it again. But now I know: esoteric=intended or understood by only a particular group. According to the first definition on Yahoo! dictionaries.